Strange Little Girl

In which The Author imports some content from his secret blog

About a year or so I was in a pub in Aberdare, chatting to Phillip, a mate of mine who's a regular at every karaoke bash. He's an Elvis tribute act, a fine singer and a very good bloke. Then a young girl named Clare came in, whom I also knew from the scene. She's short, a little bit chunky, rather attractive in a punky/goth sort of way, and about half my age. She was dressed from head to foot in black and sported a nice new spiky hairstyle, as well. The omens were propitious. She joined our little gang and we all chatted for a few minutes before she got the call to the mic. She was tearing a song from Grease 2 a new one when I leaned over to Phillip.

'Your friend's bloody good, mate.'

'My sister,' he replied.

'Your sister?' I said in amazement. I didn't even know he had a sister.

Anyway, when Clare came back over I complimented her on her performance, and we started chatting.

And that was where the whole thing started.

Since then we've sung together fairly regularly; we've been on a few drinking sessions (most recently on Monday); we've been to Cardiff to see a film; we've been to Pontypridd, Treorchy and Merthyr; we're planning a day in Bristol before Xmas, and a little excursion to London in the spring. We've also had a bloody nightmare trying to sort out ID for her, so that she can come to the pubs when we do go further afield. We've spent a fair bit of time together, and chat regularly on Facebook.

And I've found out quite a bit about her. Clare's family is fairly unconventional, to say the least. She's a bright kid, but she didn't have a good time in school. As a result, she suffers with anxiety and depression. Relateable statement, as we say on Facebook. She had children when she was quite young (as did a few friends of mine), but they're in foster care. She still lives with her father and Phillip, but she's got a string of ex-boyfriends – and, being a young person, a couple of ex-girlfriends – all over the Valleys.

[A digression: The most recent romance was less than a month ago. She met this young lad from Blackwood on a chat site, announced their engagement on Facebook a few days later, brought him to Aberdare for karaoke to meet her friends the following Friday, and kicked him into touch on the Sunday afternoon. On the Friday, her brother and I were joking that it would all be over by Xmas. In the event, it was over by Halloween. I mean, come on! Even Britney Spears has had longer relationships than that.]

A couple of months ago, we were chatting on karaoke night when Clare announced that she was moving 'back' to Ebbw Vale. (The home of another ex-boyfriend, naturally.) I said I thought it was a good plan. I know it's on its arse as a town, but my pals maintain a strong music scene. Clare would be right at home there.

When Jocelyn asked me what I wanted to sing, I had the perfect song straight away: 'We Gotta Get Out of This Place' by the Animals. Not only did the subject matter dovetail with our conversation; it also includes the words 'Now, girl, you're so young and pretty' ‐ the most subtle way of throwing her a compliment I could think of.

Anyway, the Ebbw Vale plan seems to have run into the sand for the time being, so she's still on the local scene.

But there's more …

When we were in Cardiff, I took her over to Rebel Rebel. It's a modern head shop run by two gay pals of mine named Rick and Tim. Clare was fancying the studded leather accessories while I chatted to Rick and topped up my phone. I told her that I had a nice collar she could have, which was cheaper than buying one. She bought a little wristband in the meantime. She'll love Camden Market when we get there in the spring.

But there's more …

I've met Clare's father in the past couple of weeks. I'd made an appointment to give blood, and advertised the session on Facebook. Clare persuaded her father to go down as well, and the three of us chatted over squash and biscuits afterwards. You can see why I thought maybe she was just making an excuse to be in the same building as me at the same time.

On Sunday morning, I rang Clare and asked her if she was going to the Remembrance service in Hirwaun. We'd talked about it the day before, but I said I'd check out the weather before I committed myself to walking up. In the event it was dry and bright. I met Clare on the edge of the village, and walked with her to the church and thence to the war memorial, where Phillip's St John Ambulance group were laying a wreath. Then we repaired to the Glancynon for soft drinks before the buses started running, and ended up in the pub.

In the evening we had a singer and guitarist in the pub. We were sitting at the opposite end, and our ex-army mates were in the middle, extremely pissed and rowdy. Before our guest started his set, I went over to chat to him, leaving Clare in the half-pissed hands of the Two Helens. In the meantime, Phillip parked himself at the end of the bar so he could take photos. When I looked back, Clare was talking to Charlie (Charlotte), one of the part-time barbints.

Their father picked them up towards the end of the evening, and Charlie and I ended up chatting by the bar. Charlie knows Clare, and she dropped a very heavy hint that I might have a chance of taking things to the next level. I didn't press her on it, but Charlie seemed to think that Clare was keen on me, too.

Anyway, this was going through my mind when Clare strolled into the library on Monday and asked me if I fancied some lunch.

As I told you last time, chokers are back in fashion in Aberdare, but Clare definitely pushed the envelope by wearing her wide studded collar into town. I was wearing a collar, too, just by coincidence. We were both dressed in black when we went to the pub. She mentioned that we were getting some attention from the other customers. I took a photo of her and posted it on Facebook, adding something like, 'We're sure the guys on the next table think we're on our way to a fetish night.' She thought that was hilarious.

(Talking of Facebook, I posted this lovely meme on her Timeline a couple of weeks ago. It's often quite difficult to get a smile from Clare unless there's food involved. I just wanted to give her another little compliment. I had no idea at the time that her nickname in school was 'Wednesday' – but luckily she saw the funny side. )

From there, we headed over the road for afternoon karaoke (or Performance and Cock-ups, as I call it). Phillip came in after work and the three of us had a good laugh, as always. Karen came in later on, and a splendid time was had by all. When the karaoke wound down, Phillip went to meet his father as arranged.

However, Clare decided that she'd rather join Karen and me for a late drink. We strolled down to the Prince and found a nice spot by the fireplace. While Clare was phoning to arrange a lift for the end of the night, Karen came to the same conclusion that Charlie had the previous evening.

In fact, she went a stage further and told Clare outright that she'd be far better off dating me than she would be hooking up with yet another very young and good-looking no-hoper.

Interesting suggestion, isn't it? Let's look at it in detail.

It certainly wouldn't be the first time I've had a significantly younger significant other. It wouldn't be the first time Clare has had a boyfriend who's years older than her, either. It wouldn't be the first time I've gone out with a girl who isn't conventionally attractive; it's the personalities that do it for me, not the looks. We get on well, we make each other laugh, we enjoy each other's company, and people are used to seeing us together. And I think she'd be sexually adventurous enough to tick my boxes.

But how do I go about broaching the subject directly? After all, if I had a quid for every time a girl 'just liked me as a friend', I'd be a very wealthy man by now.

Answers on a postcard, please …